FREE E-BOOK: Steps To Real Intimacy

03 March 2017

For the past three nights I’ve had dreams where the metaphor was being intimate with a man. So this morning I decided to write a very long article on the topic. This will be an e-book one day.

Here goes.

Dreams about intimacy are symbols of being close in relationships. Being close is about having a lot of Trust and Understanding for one another. It’s about being able to see where the other person has challenges and giving support while at the same time knowing your own inner and outer challenges. With Trust and Understanding for your own Self and also for the ones you are close with, then both individuals can feel really empowered in the relationship to do great things in the world.

Since I had three dreams of intimacy in a row and they were all positive I thought I would walk through the metaphor of each one by one and see what the message is to share.

Something I have been learning a lot about for the past six years is that sometimes a dream about a person seems like it is about them but in truth the message of the dream is not about them at all but it is about me and my work. The three dreams I had recently are about Integrity in my work as a freelance journalist.

There is history to this concept and it is much more developed in a book I wrote which has 1008 Dreams & Solutions. Although there are many themes in the book one of the most predominant is this metaphor of being overpowered by a man who in real life I was in a physical relationship with and he called me his girl friend while in my dreams the metaphors were all about freelance journalism work. When I solved a message of the dream about intimacy then I applied it to my work and as a result the nature of my relationship with him changed. Since then it is easy for me to dream of a man and see how the message is not about a long term life-partner relationship but about my freelance work.

This information is important because in the three dreams I just had recently another important work image came up which was also about work. Interestingly though, even though in the dream it was a clear symbol of freelance writing – my computer – the message was about real life relationships with men and developing closeness so that I can be in the kind of close personal relationship which I want to be in for life.

For those who are new to working with metaphors and dreams this may seem complex but if you are familiar with Richard’s approach you will recall that it’s good practice to always do the metaphor of the dream first and then consider if there are literal applications. Just because a potato shows up in a dream and you can make a really great dinner with it doesn’t mean in real life it’s a good idea to just go out and make a potato dinner. Better to think of potatoes as a metaphor and work with that for a while. In time you’ll know if you can actually take the message to be literal or not and when that happens it’s so clear and easy you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Okay so back to the dreams.

In the first one there was a lot of positive and there was also a lot of negative. The positive was that someone who I truly love in real life but who is not meant to be my life-partner was hired with me to act in a movie as husband and wife. It was a really positive experience where he and I got really close but still had integrity and I stayed empowered (rather than give into the temptation to take the opportunity to kiss him or something inappropriate like that). In the negative dream someone who has issues with jealousy and envy intentionally destroyed the charger on my computer and then destroyed my relationships with others so I had no easy way to replace the charger. This part of the dream was a remembered state of the way things happened in the past in my life with someone negative who used to do things to dis-empower me regularly.

It took me a few days to realize that even though the charger in the dream was essential for my writing work, it was actually a metaphor for the way I allow myself to be dis-empowered in close relationships with men in my personal life. Interestingly, I also realized that the positive dream about having Integrity with a man was actually about having Integrity in my work as a writer.

I’ll explain what I mean with a real life example and then I’ll describe the next dream in the series.

In real life, I published an article which featured an author who wrote a book about digital supervision. In the article I saw how there were connections to her digital safety work to my work with exposing the issue of child-trafficking in London, Ontario. I had integrity in the way I wrote the article and she approved and consented to it being written and published and distributed as I wanted. However when I sent a link to a group of people who may be interested in this topic instead of giving the subject heading the title of something like “Digital Supervision” which would have been the most accurate subject, I put “child trafficking.”

Unfortunately, not many people in the group would understand the connection between the lack of online digital supervision and the risk of a child becoming a victim to child-trafficking. So my email then seemed to lack professional integrity. The subject heading did not match the article. Not only that but one of the links I sent out did not work for all readers. Again, I lost integrity.

So this dream about being able to uphold high standards of Integrity for myself which I described in the beginning of this post, was a signal to me that I am capable of this and in fact I do it already in my close personal relationships, so now it is time to put the effort to ensure I do it in my professional work too.

If I do what I did in the movie set dream when I am working on a tough article or a tough topic in real life, then the article will have professional integrity and I will be empowered to get my positive message for change across to increasingly larger audiences.

Likewise, when I work out the negative issues which led to my power cord being broken metaphorically I can realize that my biggest issue is around envy. Envy is the negative feeling which comes up when there is a desire for something but it is not God’s Will for you to have it. Whether that is a situation or experience or quality or relationships. Jealousy is the negative emotion which comes up when someone is trying to protect something which they see as theirs, such as a position. The negative dream about losing power helped me to see where I was harbouring some secret envy and when I let go of that I was able to feel grateful for what I do have and let go of the things I’m not meant to have.

The reason I’m not meant to have some of the things I wanted in life show up in my next dream of intimacy.

Please follow along if you wish or click away and come back another time to catch up and read the rest.

Part Two – Being Intimate With a Marine

Well I know what the joke is about finding men in uniform attractive and to be honest I never really got the joke. But the other night I dreamed about being intimate with a marine and this was a really good symbol for integrating qualities of Courage, Confidence, Enthusiasm & Determination into my day-to-day life.

I wrote about the three dreams I had about police/marines in one night. In one dream I was kissing a marine; in another I was in a police-training camp; in another I was participating/observing an emergency on-the-field type operation.

There’s not as much to say about these dream scenarios as the other one because everything in this was totally positive. Yes it was complex for sure but it wasn’t negative.

So that was just a positive dream to remind me that in my day-to-day life I can call on these virtues of Courage, Confidence, Enthusiasm and Determination to do the work I am meant to do during the day.

As it turned out, I had an extremely busy day following this dream and it required an immense amount of each of these 4 virtues. It was the kind of day where usually I work together with someone but then they couldn’t be there with me, then I was also feeling physically ill, then I was hosting a gathering at my home, then I was shopping for food even though I had such a limited budget, then I was driving four 12-year-olds home, then I was driving a neighbour to a class, then I was coming home and editing work I had done on emails and articles that day. It was incredible.

Interestingly, the metaphor of being in police-camp training really made sense to me. My day FELT like I was in police camp training even though I was just doing regular run-of-the-mill stuff like housework, shopping, cooking, cleaning, teaching a class, writing and driving.

Even more interesting is that it was this day, in the midst of busy-ness and what some would call outright chaos that I sent out an email which I had hoped came across professionally and which I found out later had some mistakes which could make some readers question the integrity of my work.

So what to do?

The solution showed up in my dream last night. Here is the dream and the solution.

Part Three – Agreeing To Befriend Someone Who Is Attracted To Me

In the dream its night. I’m walking on a sidewalk towards a corner store and pass by a good looking man who appears to be South American. He’s wearing a leather jacket and standing under a street light looking how mafia men tend to look in movies. I just pass by him without giving him any regard but then he calls out to me. There is something in his voice which signals to me that he is not a threat and that there is actually something meaningful or sincere about him so I turn around and go back.

“Are you talking to me?” I call back to him.

He says he is, says something sweet to me like I’m pretty or something like that, and then asks if he can join me on my walk. I say I’m going to the store and sure he can come along.

Within minutes of us walking and chatting I can tell he and I will get along great. We are laughing right away, have so much in common and I see it was really the right thing to do to stop and connect with him.

In the store it’s brightly lit and I find everything I came in for. I pay for it and we leave and the feeling is like I’m walking with a friend for life.

What I like about this dream is it shows me where my own prejudices can keep me back from finding positive relationships. When I check in with myself, let my guard down, and open up to chance and possibility then I will find great things are in store for me and the people I work closely with.

So these are my three dreams, the work I did with them, the way I applied the solutions to real life and how I’m moving forward towards having the relationships I truly want.

 

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