A Dream & Interpretation About Ex’s

Here is a dream someone sent me recently and my reply.

Ok I dreamt last night I was at a mall again. But it was like I went to school at this mall. I was playing pranks with fireworks like setting them off to scare people. I had a really high tech vault where I hid all my stuff. Only me and a friend knew how to get in it. Eventually they found my vault and destroyed it so I couldn’t ply pranks any more.
My ex was in it at one point and I just talked to her briefly but I was showing her what great shape I was in like gloating. I lifted my shirt so she could see my abs.
Then I won some contest with 2 other people. I got first. But the girl that was supposed to hand out the prizes got sick or something but either way she couldn’t hand out the prizes and I had to wait a really long time but when she got back to give me the prize which was a weird necklace,she was upset so I hugged her and she started crying. Then we started making out and it was so amazing. She had an epic body and perfect boobs.
So then after that her and I were leaving the mall together and I ran into my old step dad. He was back together with my mom and I was trying to avoid him seeing me but he did he came up to me to talk to me and this girl and then I woke up

Sorry there is a lot in there but I just woke up and I really felt great about this girl and shitty about my stepdad. Had to send it b4 I forgot about it

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Thanks for sharing this dream. It is always awe-inspiring when the dream world provides such perfect metaphors for inner challenges and growth.

This dream begins where the other one did, at a mall. The previous dream was about being in a mall with your fiancee because since you have made real progress with yourself and her you now have so many more options and today’s dream is about being in a mall that is like a school.

A school is a place for learning. So you can ask  yourself, “what does the metaphor of a school inside of a mall mean?” You might come up with some options about the meaning and you can learn about yourself from this question.

When you ask yourself a question like this it is like opening up the door to limitless possibilities. At any given moment, you can chose anything.

When you were a child, you didn’t have a lot of choices. You learned a pattern of thinking and behaving and repeated it in your early adult life. That’s why it worked out the way it did with two of your ex’s. They saw how you were limited and they used it to their advantage. Both of them had their own pain and they were both okay with the way you used sex to make them feel better. You were okay with it too. You’re not okay with it anymore. That’s why the mall feels so good when you are there.

I’m going to tell you something here which will be hard for you to read. If you want to talk about it we can. But you need to hear this.

Your fiancee doesn’t have the same pain as your ex’s did from their backgrounds. You know how to work with/be with women who have a lot of pain because of what you, your mom and your sister went through with your old step-father. Here is what is going to be hard for you to read…

What the dream is saying is that because your fiancee doesn’t have the same pain as other women you’ve been intimate with then a part of you is unsure of how to move forward.

A part of you caused pain in women so that once she is coming from a pain-based place you know how to deal with her. You deal with women in pain by making them feel better sexually, or getting them to please you sexually.

The negative pattern worked perfectly for 12 years with two women who were largely dead inside and just feeding off your sexual energy like vampires. You didn’t mind because the sex was so good. But eventually it fell apart because what your True Self knows is that true, real, intimate relationships are about intimacy of the heart and not just about touch & orgasms – as delightful as they are. 😉

So what is happening here?

For the past year and a half you and I have been doing dreamwork around intimacy issues. If you look back at your first dreams about sex you will remember what I told you that sex in dreams is about intimacy. To have your ex show up again just means there is more work to do around this. The school in the mall leads me to think you have more learning to do around the past relationship with your ex before you can go for more positive options and get back in the mall with your fiancee.

How you can work to grow now is showing up in your dreams. It’s just going to take some time to work through because you learned to do this with women by watching your step-dad and you absorbed it unconsciously as a child. Your step-dad caused your mom a lot of pain, maybe your sister too. And you were caught in the middle, trying to protect the women you cared about but also trying to keep your own self safe.

You are now an adult and a father parenting your own self in a way you didn’t have as a child. You are like the loving father to yourself. Fathers can be loving, supportive and strong. The purpose of the role of fatherhood is to give the child a lot of positive encouragement to give them a lot of memories of being supported. When they feel supported then they feel very strong and can tackle any mountain in life. Your challenge is to be to your son and daughter in a way you didn’t expereince yourself. So you have to make it up as you go along and this is not easy to do. But when you do the work on yourself then it is easier to be there for them. In this way, you will deal with the generational issues which you inherited from your mother (and biological father) and you will solve the problem so that your own children do not inherit it from you.

In other words, when you solve this issue in yourself, you are not passing it down to them. Then they will be even more free to develop their strong and unique qualities and contribute to making the world a better place for others.

Even though your mind believes that sex is the solution to feeling better, this is the wrong way. You try to avoid your step-dad at the end of the dream because a part of you knows what he did was wrong and what you did was wrong too.

The big difference between him and you is that he didn’t change and you already have.

This dream is a memory about the way you used to be. You know you aren’t there anymore because of the mall, because of all the great options with your fiancee metaphorically and in real life.

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